(2/3)“The depression is a feeling of being in a long dark tunnel all by myself and there is no light and all I want is that feeling to end. The feeling is strongest at night. Last Friday it was so strong that I started to panic. I took my phone I googled for answers. Eventually I found a number which you can call if you are dealing with a suicide attempt. A volunteer picked up the phone and we talked for a while. His voice was calm and he was friendly. For the first time in a long time I felt as if someone cared about me. What I remember most about our conversation is that he told me that it was okay to cry. Nobody has ever said to me that it is okay to cry and it made me feel relieved. On Tuesday night that feeling came back stronger than ever. I was sitting on my bed with a bottle of wine in my hands and more than 100 pills in my lap but somehow I didn’t take them. I remembered a song my mentor emailed me. He sent me ‘The greatest love of all’ by Whitney Houston. I felt a bit more strength and I cried for hours. I emailed my doctor to tell him that I could not wait for 12 weeks to get help. I wrote him that I still have a lot of dreams and I want to make something out of my life but if I don’t get help soon I don’t think I can do this any longer. The next day my doctor called and he immediately arranged an appointment with a team of psychiatrist.”

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