“I was seventeen when the world was at my feet. I was very talented drummer and I got accepted into the conservatory of Amsterdam. Everyone wanted to collaborate with me. I was young and curious so when a friend of mine was using cocaine and heroin, I also wanted to try it. He allowed me only to use cocaine. Later on I tried heroin anyways, something I should have never done. The combination heroin and music was insane. Whenever I was high I would listen to music and everything fell right into place. I was getting more successful and I was offered a lot of gigs but with the drugs it was hard to keep up. I would use between sets which caused me to be late and unprofessional. ’‘Heroin” and “addict” were words I didn’t identify with. It took a long time before I realized that those words were what I had become. After one year of using I realized I had made a terrible mistake. I have spent 20 years of my life trying to quit. Getting clean is possible but in order to give up drugs you have to find that little tiny flame inside of you, you have to nourish it until the flame gets bigger and bigger. The urge to make good music again was my little flame. It has been a long road but now I get to play with the best jazz musicians of The Netherlands. I have gotten a second chance and i’m determined to make it work. “

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